The Introvert Manifesto

Living Weird in a Normal World

Presented here is the rulebook written by Lief and Cole, in it's final form (2nd Revised Edition). Printed handbooks are available for $2. Send inquiries to neal - at - nealskorpen - dot - com.

 

WHEREAS, 75% of the population are extroverts;

WHEREAS, The unwritten rules of social interaction were made by extroverts, for extroverts;

WHEREAS, We introverts are naturally mystified by this code that extroverts understand intuitively;

WE RESOLVE to turn things to our advantage by A) understanding the extroverts’ rules and B) writing our own.

 

RULE #1: SILENCE IS A WEAPON. Get comfortable with silence. Extroverts can’t deal with it. Use it wisely.

RULE #2: LISTENING IS POWER. Extroverts must fill the silence. Let them. They will reveal everything.

RULE #3: KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN. People follow patterns. Watch and learn. Repeat, mimic, subvert.

RULE #4: CHOOSE SILENCE. Make it intentional. Be the mysterious stranger, not the socially inept spaz.

RULE #5: NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR YOUR EXISTENCE. You are entitled to the air you breathe and the space you occupy.

RULE #6: MAKE YOUR OWN FUN. Introverts don't always enjoy what extroverts do for fun (i.e. parties). Use your imagination. Find ways to suck the marrow out of life.

RULE #7: CONVERSATION IS CAMOUFLAGE. Extroverts expect you to talk. Not talking marks you as an outsider. You can blend in with these simple strategies.

 

STRATEGY #1: ASK QUESTIONS.

Extroverts especially love to talk about themselves. Encourage them with questions and you will be their best friend.

STRATEGY #2: USE BODY LANGUAGE.

You can also contribute to the conversation with non-verbal encouragement; a nod here, a smile there. Go easy on the diabolical chin-stroke.

STRATEGY #3: KNOW WHERE YOU'RE POINTING YOUR FACE.

if you have a hard time with eye contact, you can fake it by looking at the forehead above and between the eyes. Be careful about looking down; women will think you're staring at their bazoombas.

STRATEGY #4: FORM OVER CONTENT.

What you say matters less than how and when you say it. You are not so much transmitting information as setting the extrovert at ease.

STRATEGY #5: DON'T SOUND LIKE A TOOL.

When you're among friends, say whatever you want. When meeting new people, don't expect to impress them with your deep, specialized knowledge.

STRATEGY #6: WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS, SHARE.

That stuff you're thinking that no one wants to hear? Say it out loud. Let people in. It's a powerful expression of friendship.